Crosby Plays Entire Game Alongside Real Penguins

From ff-press.com – too funny not to be reprinted here

Chicago, IL – Sidney Crosby may be the best hockey player in the world, but you can give him a big fat zero when it comes to attention to detail. In an effort to trim payroll and free up cap space, the Pittsburgh Penguins dressed two penguins from the Pittsburgh Zoo as Crosby’s linemates last night against the New Jersey Devils. Crosby, used to playing without wingers, did not even notice.

“I literally had no idea until I looked over during the second intermission and saw one of them licking its flipper,” said the Penguins captain after the game, “I was like, ‘wait a minute, something’s different.’”

Heading into last night’s matchup, the product of Cole Harbour, Nova Scotia had 46 points on the season, 31 points ahead of his closest linemate.

Crosby tallied a goal and an assist as the Penguins downed the Devils 2-1. He set up one of his new linemates, Pengy, at 15:41 of the first period, and tallied the game winner with 7:51 remaining in the third.

“It’s great to see Sidney working well with creatures of all species,” said Penguins head coach Dan Bylsma, cleaning out the squid bucket that kept Pengy and Mr. Flippington nourished between periods. “I think we can tell the Botswana African Reserve with complete confidence that we won’t be needing that shipment of African wildlife.”

When asked if Crosby was going to miss his ex-linemates, the Penguins superstar admitted he was never entirely sure who they were in the first place:

“I wanna say there was a Craig?”

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