Penguins Update: Nobody Does Dirty Like Hornqvist

POW! BAM! ZLONK! SLAM! BAP!

The noises emanating from a typical Patric Hornqvist shift remind me a lot of those goofy sound effects from the old Batman TV show from the ‘60s. Whether he’s crashing into the boards, barreling full bore into unsuspecting defensemen, or barging into the crease to harass a rival goalie, contact seems to be the one constant in the salty forward’s repertoire. Well, that and non-stop, java-fueled energy.

Put another way? He’s the Tasmanian Devil on skates.

There’s even a hint of pretty beneath all that blonde Nordic ugly. Blessed with surprisingly soft hands, Hornqvist deflects the puck as well as anyone this side of teammate Sidney Crosby.

By all standards, Patric’s enjoyed a terrific season. In 69 games, he’s piled up 28 goals—the second highest total of his career—including a team-high 15 on the power play. With a game remaining on the slate, he’s a hat trick away from eclipsing his career-best of 30, set in his first full NHL season with Nashville back in 2009-10.

Following a decent first half, he’s come on like gangbusters in the New Year. Hornqvist’s potted 16 goals in his last 28 games. Over the past 13 contests? A scalding hot 10 goals.

Lest we forget, No. 72 scored the Cup-winning goal against the Predators last spring, scooping the puck off the boards and slinging it in off Pekka Rinne’s arm in his customary scrambling fashion.

The very definition of a money player, Hornqvist’s making Pens GM Jim Rutherford look like a genius for signing him to a five-year extension on February 27.

Last night was a typical gritty, big-game effort. Fifteen minutes into the first period of a scintillating 5-4 overtime win over Columbus, Hornqvist spun off a check by Blue Jackets defenseman Ryan Murray and deftly redirected a shot past Sergei Bobrovsky for the Pens’ second goal.

On Kris Letang’s crucial power-play tally early in the third period, he dug the puck off the boards before bolting to the front of the net to provide a classic ‘Horny’ screen. Abrasive to the max, he engaged hulking Jackets forward Pierre-Luc Dubois in a spirited shoving match.

All in a night’s work for Hornqvist.

To digress, the black and gold have been blessed with some great power forwards through the years. Kevin Stevens was a 230-pound freight train with silk-purse hands. Rick Tocchet was a ferocious competitor…the best corner man I ever saw. Great touch in traffic, too. Cruiserweight Chris Kunitz and Ryan Malone rate high on my list. ‘Scary’ Gary Roberts deserves honorable mention, as does Bob ‘Battleship’ Kelly.

Still, with the possible exception of countryman Tomas Holmstrom, who spent his entire NHL career virtually stapled to opposing goalies, I’ve never seen a net-front presence to equal Hornqvist. He’s in the opposing team’s kitchen each and every shift, wreaking havoc.

In a word…relentless.

Cross check him, slash him…knock him down? He clambers back to his skates like some maniacal pop-up dummy and keeps whacking away at the puck. I can’t imagine for one second how difficult…not to mention exhausting…it would be to defend against him. Same goes for the goalies, who must weary of Horny constantly blocking their sight lines while attempting to crawl inside their jerseys.

Talk about violating your personal space.

If there was a poll given to opposing defensemen and goalies, my guess is the hardscrabble Swede would rate as their most hated foe, hands down.

Ironically, Hornqvist began his career as a goalie, following in his dad’s footsteps. After allowing 11 goals during a game, he shed the pads forever and decided to become a forward.

I, for one, am so glad he did.