Dismal Loss Pushes Punchless Penguins to the Brink

There are few things in nature more dangerous than an animal that feels trapped or confined. Back one into a corner…it’s liable to attack.

An apt description of what occurred during the first dozen minutes of yesterday afternoon’s pivotal Game 3 between the Penguins and Islanders at PPG Paints Arena. Backed into a corner following two losses on Long Island, the Pens lashed out in a tidal wave of pent-up frustration and aggression.

They out-hit the Isles, 6-1, in the opening two minutes, and 16-11 in the first dozen. Aided by a hooking call to New York defenseman Adam Pelech, they held a 14-13 edge in shot attempts as well.

When Garrett Wilson deflected Markus Pettersson’s long-range drive past Robin Lehner at 12:54, the overflow crowd erupted in a frenzied sea of black-and-gold rally towels.

Unfortunately, that was all she wrote.

A scant 26 seconds later, Ryan Pulock found Jordan Eberle below the left circle with a crisp diagonal pass. Eberle whipped the puck past Matt Murray—who’d cheated off the post—from an impossibly sharp angle to knot the score. Sixty-two seconds later, Brock Nelson beat Murray on a two-on-one.

The air drained from the building and never returned. Neither did our Penguins, transformed in an instant into a collection of black-and-gold clad zombies. Slowwww ones at that.

Indeed, the Islanders forechecked, backchecked and otherwise skated us to a standstill for the rest of the game. The zombies…er Pens…would manage a paltry 18 shots on goal over the final two periods. None of which eluded Lehner, who’s giving a rather impressive imitation of a 6-foot-4-inch, 240-pound brick wall in net.

In all my years of watching hockey, I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed a more disquieting effort by a team whose season was essentially on the line. To say our guys looked discouraged at the final horn would be an understatement of the highest magnitude. I can only imagine the tomb-like state of the locker room following the dismal 4-1 defeat.

Give full credit to the Islanders and their coach, Barry Trotz. While the Penguins appear confused, disorganized and even demoralized under Mike Sullivan, the wily Isles bench boss has his team playing inspired, disciplined hockey…the kind that wins Stanley Cups. They’re disposing of our Pens with threshing-machine precision.

So where do we go from here? The simplest answer is up. Although it’s hard to imagine our guys playing worse than they did in Game 3, the way the Islanders are dominating us right now? I don’t know if there’s anything we can do to counteract them, short of locking our foes in their respective hotel rooms prior to Game 4 and forcing them to forfeit.

I’ll start with a Captain Obvious statement. We desperately need some production from Sidney Crosby and Jake Guentzel (zero points for the series). As much as I hate to suggest one more lineup adjustment for a team that’s been tweaked into oblivion, I’m going to recommend a couple more.

Put Patric Hornqvist on Sid’s right flank. I know No. 87 doesn’t like playing with “Horny,” but too bad. The battlin’ Swede forces Crosby to play down low, where he’s incredibly effective. Try it for half a game. If it doesn’t work, move Jared McCann up. Or vice versa.

While we’re locking guys in hotel rooms, let’s put a padlock on Dominik Simon’s. Again, I don’t hate the kid. Truth be told, I feel kind of sorry for him. It isn’t his fault he’s come to symbolize Sullivan’s puzzling obstinance. But Teddy Blueger’s a better player and a better option.

I’ll close by sharing a brief story. Last night I was having a beer at the Pennsbury Pub when a friend of mine asked if I thought winter was over.

“Yes,” I replied with confidence.

It snowed this morning.

Last week I predicted our Pens would take the Islanders in six games. Unless we experience a miraculous turnabout, I’ll need to get a new crystal ball this summer.

By the looks of it, the Pens’ll need some new players, too.