Penguins Update: When the Goin’ Gets Tough…

This article has absolutely nothing to do with the plight of our Penguins as they struggle to keep pace in the race for an Eastern Conference playoff spot.

Or maybe it does.

Be forewarned. I’m about to launch into my annual rant about our lack of toughness. Hockey purists and fans of Olympic-style hockey needn’t read any further.

For the uninitiated, I have an awful time watching our guys get mauled, dating way back to a preseason game on September 29, 1973. As I watched TV news clips in muted horror, a Mongol horde known as the St. Louis Blues literally massacred our guys in battle after battle.

During a particularly shameful point of the proceedings a cluster of Blues…led by swashbuckling future Pen Steve Durbano…menaced our game but undersized “policeman,” Bryan “Bugsy” Watson, as he was serving time in the penalty box. Finally, Bryan Hextall attempted to intervene. He was promptly picked off and pummeled by one of the Blues. No one else on our bench budged an inch.

For an impressionable 16-year-old who was just discovering the sport, it was literally like watching an assault unfold before my eyes. The images stayed with me all these years.

Had I been the Pens’ general manager that day, I would’ve uttered the same words as Flyers owner Ed Snider after watching his team absorb a similar beating from the Blues.

“Never again.”

No small surprise, then, that I nearly blew a gasket on Thursday night while watching our guys take it on the chin…literally and figuratively…during a dismal loss to San Jose. Especially during the wild five-on-five melee that broke out in front of the benches during a TV timeout.

The Sharks had Brendan Dillon, Micheal Haley and Evander Kane on the ice…tough guys all. The shield carrier for the black and gold…Sidney Crosby. While I so admire Sid for the way he fearlessly waded into the fray (has there ever been a better leader?) he’s not the guy I want fighting the team’s battles.

A similar event played out during last night’s discouraging Stadium Series loss to the Flyers. Fearing no retribution whatsoever, Philly forward Wayne Simmonds buried a shoulder into Brian Dumoulin’s noggin, resulting in an instant concussion. Kris Letang attempted to answer the bell, only to be twisted around like a soft pretzel and slammed to the ice by Shayne Gostisbehere. Exit our top defensive pairing in one ugly swoop.

Yet another case of a superstar trying to stick up for the team.

That’s because our brass has stripped virtually any semblance of fighting toughness from our lineup. We’re vulnerable to clubs that display even a modicum of physicality. Basically, every other team in the league.

Hey, who needs Ryan Reaves, Jamie Oleksiak or even Garrett Wilson? After all, we gotta find room for Dominik Simon.

I’m not trying to pick on Simon, a decent little depth forward.

I am being sarcastic.

It takes all types of players to make a hockey team. Right now, we have too many Simons.

The Penguins, it seems, have an almost pathological need to divest themselves of toughness in pursuit of that last extra morsel of skill. Well, Simon has seven goals this season. The aforementioned Reaves has eight, not to mention a ton more hits and battles fought and won.

I wonder who our guys would rather have beside them entering a dark alley. Or more to the point, a key divisional match-up.

I’m betting on Reaves.

It’s an organizational blindness that’s carried on for decades. Tired of watching his club get emasculated on a nightly basis by nasty foes like the Flyers and Blues, then-GM Jack Button imported Durbano and the Bobs…Kelly and Paradise…to ride shotgun in 1973-74. The Pens responded with their first winning season the following year.

In 1975-76, new GM Wren Blair traded Durbano, Paradise and 6’4” Harvey Bennett while adding Ed Gilbert, Stan Gilbertson and Simon Nolet (four minor penalties combined). Although an offensive juggernaut, the Pens got bounced from the playoffs in the first round by an infinitely tougher Toronto squad.

In the early ‘80s we boasted Kevin McClelland and Marty McSorley, two of the better fighters in the league. Eddie Johnston dealt both to Edmonton, where they served quite successfully as Wayne Gretzky’s bodyguards for a number of years. Which meant there was no one on hand to shield phenom Mario Lemieux from abuse that contributed to his career-threatening back issues.

There are countless other examples of the Pens adding muscle, only to pull an abrupt u-turn and defang in relatively short order. The most recent involving Reaves and Oleksiak. I’ll include stout defenseman Ian Cole, too.

I’m aware it’s a different game than it was even a half-dozen years ago, when the Pens boasted sluggers like Eric Godard, Mike Rupp, Arron Asham and Deryk Engelland. It’s more about skill and speed and less about bump and grind.

Still, Washington employed a consistent physical game to dethrone us last year. And, as these recent incidents so clearly attest, we need to be able to defend ourselves when push comes to shove.

Right now, we’re defenseless.