Can the Penguins Adapt to the New NHL?

On occasion I’ll play a little call-and-response game with a friend. She’ll tease me and tell me I’m whimpy, whimpy, whimpy. “No,” I reply. “I’m HEFTY, HEFTY. HEFTY.”

It reminded me of this year’s Stanley Cup playoffs. HEFTY, HEFTY, HEFTY was in and whimpy, whimpy, whimpy was out. Skill-first teams such as the Penguins, Hurricanes, Maple Leafs…even the extraordinarily talented Avalanche…fell by the wayside. Clubs that combined speed and skill with a healthy dose of HEFTY such as Tampa Bay, Montreal, the Islanders and Vegas made it to the Conference Finals.

A quick scan of the Lightning’s roster illustrates my point. Twelve of their 20 postseason skaters tipped the scales at 200 pounds or over, including all seven defensemen. True, it was comparative water bugs like Nikita Kucherov and Brayden Point who lit up the scoreboard. But they were cocooned by a muscular shell, as was goalie Andrei Vasilevskiy.

By contrast, only five of the Pens’ 19 postseason skaters weighed in at 200 pounds or better, and that includes Sidney Crosby and Kris Letang. Hardly behemoths.

This isn’t an anomaly but rather a trend that began back in 2018 when Washington employed a hybrid style to shatter our dreams of a three-peat and capture the Cup.

For metrics mavens who still believe puck possession’s the key? The black and gold led the postseason in Corsi for at 58.92. Tampa Bay finished a distant 11th out of 16 teams at 48.41, one notch below Montreal. New Jersey (oops…sorry…the Islanders) finished next-to-last at 44.26.

So much for being the fastest, most skilled and most talented. Yet we continue to embrace a speed-and-skill first and everything-else-be-damned approach. It’s like we’re stuck in 2016.

A big reason, of course, is coach Mike Sullivan. And hey, I get it. He won back-to-back Cups with that style. You don’t abandon what works for you. At least not right away. But with our championships fading in the rear-view mirror and the league clearly embracing Eddie Shore Old Time Hockey, it’s time to adapt.

The question is, can he? While sticking to your guns is an admirable and even noble trait, Sullivan displays a stubbornness bordering on obstinance when it comes to his favored style of play and personnel choices. Again, nothing wrong with speed and skill. But in culinary terms, you need some beef to go with the bun…some mustard on your hot dog. Especially in today’s NHL.

I’d hoped new general manager Ron Hextall and his boss Brian Burke would be able to steer Sullivan away from his tendencies and toward a more balanced approach. Burke alluded to as much early this off-season. And perhaps down the road they will. For now, the polar opposite has occurred. The team’s four key free-agent signings, Danton Heinen, Brock McGinn, Evan Rodrigues and Dominik Simon have Sullivan’s fingerprints all over them. Nothing wrong with a coach and GM working together as long as it’s beneficial to the team. But this feels like the same old same old.

For the record, the signees average a paperweight 187 pounds. I suspect the latter two stuffed rocks in their pockets before stepping onto the scale. Worse, among the quartet, only McGinn shows any inclination toward an aggressive game.

Whimpy, whimpy, whimpy.

In the meantime two key division rivals, the Rangers and Flyers, followed the Tampa Bay blueprint and got considerably meaner and heavier. New York added Barclay Goodrow, Ryan Reaves and Jarred Tinordi. Philly nabbed Rasmus Ristolainen. Factor in the always nasty Capitals and the husky, grind-you-down Islanders? Our boys are liable to be in over their heads on many a night this season in the push-comes-to-shove department.

I confess, I’m disappointed in Hextall for not adding some much-needed muscle. Players like power forward Nick Ritchie and defenseman Zach Bogosian were available. Rugged d-man Erik Gudbranson still is. Maybe Hextall tried to sign them but couldn’t. I’m not sure the ‘Burgh is regarded as a garden-spot destination for free agents these days, and he had to deal with cap constraints that were not of his making. But I’m reminded…uncomfortably so…that Hextall de-bullied the Flyers during his tenure in Philly.

Based on his moves so far, he appears to be condoning and even reinforcing Sullivan’s preferred system and choice of players. A huge mistake in my eyes.

Maybe we’ll have more success in the regular season than I think. Despite his flaws, Sullivan is a good coach and he has a knack for squeezing the most out of the talent at his disposal. But in the postseason?

HEFTY, HEFTY, HEFTY rules.