Kings Crown Penguins, 6-2

Much to the coaching staff and players’ credit, our Penguins don’t get outclassed very often. But, man oh Manischewitz, we sure did last night. The Los Angeles Kings, an intriguing blend of Stanley Cup holdovers and young up-and-comers that may serve as a model for future Pens teams, skated over, around and through us with shocking ease en route to a decisive 6-2 triumph.

No empty-netters to pad the margin of victory or make the outcome appear worse than it was. Plain and simple, the Kings took us to the woodshed.

Although we opened the game flatter than the proverbial pancake, Tristan Jarry made a couple of big saves early. At 4:42, Kris Letang ventured deep into the Kings’ zone and swept the puck in off Jonathan Quick’s skate blade from below the goal line.

Great play. Pens up, one-zip. Business as usual, right?

To quote Arnold Schwarzenegger from The Terminator, “Wrong.” The Kings responded with several wide-open looks. With just over six minutes remaining in the opening frame Anze Kopitar buried one from the high slot off a juicy turnover to knot the score at 1-1.

Stung by the goal, the black and gold responded with some sustained pressure. But Quick, who appears to be reborn at age 36 following several down seasons, lived up to his name while robbing Jeff Carter, Chad Ruhwedel and Evan Rodrigues on Grade-A chances.

With 5:28 to go in the second period, fellow greybeard Dustin Brown beat Jarry on the power play from the side of the net. Abandoned by his defense (John Marino in particular), No. 35 had no chance as Brown was given about a half-hour to switch from forehand to backhand and snap the puck beneath his outstretched glove.

Although thoroughly outplayed, the Pens battled back to tie the score at 2-all early in the third. Teddy Blueger found Radim Zohorna cruising in the slot with a pass out of the corner, and “Big Z” ripped it past Quick. As incredible as it seemed given their lackluster play, our guys had a chance to snag a point or two.

Then the roof caved in. Ninety seconds later Mikey Anderson beat Jarry with a blast from the right point. With our top defensive tandem trapped up ice, Viktor Arvidsson finished off a 2-on-oh (no) with Trevor Moore off the ensuing faceoff. Four-two, Kings.

The blitz continued. Playing the Polish horse cavalry to L.A.’s German Panzers, the Pens yielded a second goal to Kopitar, left unattended by the side of the net, just 73 seconds after Arvidsson’s tally. Three goals allowed in just 83 seconds. Shameful.

Our capitulation complete, we watched while Sean Durzi hammered another shot past Jarry from long range at 18:20 to drive the final nail into our coffin. Mercifully bringing an end to as one-sided an affair in the opposite direction as I’ve witnessed in a long time. Or hope to see again.

Puckpourri

The game was pretty much total domination by the Kings. They ruled in shot attempts (70-49), shots on goal (45-29)…including 20-8 in the second period…and faceoffs (59 percent). Indeed, we were on the wrong side of the puck all night long…especially our ‘d’…which pretty much left Jarry to fend for himself.

Tristan faced down 25 high-danger chances, a staggering number, and managed 39 saves in all. But the ceaseless pressure eventually took its toll.

All but five Penguins finished with a minus. The lone bright spot? The makeshift line of Blueger, Zohorna and Dominik Simon. Each collected a point and finished a plus-two while dominating in Corsi (71.43). Zohorna’s tally is his third in 11 NHL games. I’m telling ya’, this kid can play. Mike Sullivan and his staff need to find a spot for him…even at the expense of an old favorite.

Drew O’Connor (three shots on goal) replaced Anthony Angello. Carter fired off a game-high seven shots, but finished a minus-two. Following an extended hot streak, Sidney Crosby hasn’t scored a point in three games. He has but one goal in his past 11 games, a worrisome trend. Aftereffects of his wrist surgery?

Rodrigues, too has cooled (no points in three). In my humble opinion, he’s being wasted on Sid’s right flank. Although I don’t have the numbers in front of me, E-Rod’s far more dangerous and productive on his off (left) wing or at center.

The Pens (21-10-5, 47 points) are presently in fourth place in the Metro, two points behind the Capitals and five points behind the division leading Rangers. Next…on to San Jose for a Saturday night match-up before finishing our six-game road trip in Vegas on Monday night.