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Penguins Update: The Neville Islanders and Other Assorted Silliness

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ByRick Buker

May 28, 2023

Be forewarned…the following post contains all sorts of nonsensical ramblings from a loose-leaf mind. But what the heck.

The other day I was thinking about the Penguins’ needs in preparation for my armchair GMing article when I conjured up a novel (and I must say) brilliant idea. Namely…the Pens and New York Islanders should merge.

Since it’s my brainchild, the team would be based in the ‘Burgh. We could call them the Neville Islanders.

Silly, I know. Then again…

The Pens and Isles would truly complement each other. To borrow from the old Biz Markie rap, “You got what I need”…and vice versa. We’ve got a skilled and talented top six and No. 1 defenseman. They possess size, power, depth, team defense and top-notch goaltending.

I salivate at the thought of adding the likes of Penguin killers Brock Nelson and Anders Lee, Bo Horvat, Jean-Gabriel Pageau and rugged Matt Martin to our forward mix, along with Noah Dobson and twin stalwarts Ryan Pulock and Adam Pelech to our blue-line brigade.

In goal? It doesn’t get any better than Ilya Sorokin.

My hybrid bunch, a Stanley Cup contender for sure.

Actually, there is a precedent for teams merging. In 1978, the woebegone Cleveland Barons (formerly California Golden Seals) and Minnesota North Stars joined forces. Thus reinforced, the recast North Stars made it to the Stanley Cup Final three seasons later.

Frederik Who?

The clock struck midnight Saturday at Tampere, Finland for Team USA and Pens goalie Casey DeSmith in particular, ending their Cinderella bid for a gold medal.

The culprit…or villain…if you prefer? An obscure former black-and-gold prospect named Frederik Tiffels.

Of course.

A sixth-round pick of the Pens back in 2015, the Cologne native played one season of pro hockey in North America (2017-18) following a largely nondescript collegiate career at Western Michigan. Splitting time between the Baby Pens and Wheeling Nailers, the 6’0” 191-pound left wing bagged 18 goals and 36 points in 56 games. He returned to his native land the following season.

Lest you think he’s burning up the track in Deutschland, think again. He tallied only six goals in 55 games for Munich EHC this past season.

But yesterday, the 28-year-old forward took a star turn at the IIHF World Championships. At 7:28 of overtime he beat DeSmith from the left dot to propel Germany to a huge 4-3 upset victory. It was Tiffels’ second goal of the contest and third in the tournament to go with six points.

As for DeSmith? Shades of this past season. After performing flawlessly through five games (including two shutouts), the wheels fell off the wagon at crunch time. He allowed the game-tying goal with only 1:23 left in regulation before yielding Tiffels’ OT-winner.

Unfortunately for Casey, it was a “case” (no pun intended) of déjà vu all over again this morning. Again he yielded goals late in regulation and early in overtime, this time to Latvia in the bronze-medal game, to throw a considerable damper over his earlier performances.

A bright spot amid the gloom? Fellow Pen Drew O’Connor, playing second-line center, picked up three assists over the weekend, giving him a robust eight points (3+5) to go with a plus-eight for the tournament.

Colton Boltin’?

Add Tampa Bay forward Ross Colton to my list of potential trade targets. An RFA-to-be (with arbitration rights), the former fourth-round pick could be an excellent addition to our middle six.

The hardworking 26-year-old can play left wing or center, possesses a scoring touch (38 goals over the past two seasons), is strong on faceoffs and isn’t shy about using his 6’0” 194-pound frame in a forceful manner (188 hits).

Working on an expiring two-year deal with an AAV of $1.125 million, he’s due for a decent raise. One the cap-strapped Bolts may not be able to afford.

Might make for a solid addition, especially if current Lightning exec Mathieu Darche becomes our next GM.

Strange but True

In the truth-is-stranger-than-fiction department, guess which team led the NHL in hits this season?

Yep…our Pens, with 2308.

I know. I had to do a double and even triple take to make sure my eyes weren’t deceiving me.

While I sure don’t consider us to be an overly physical team (if anything the polar opposite), especially in playoff terms, there it is in black-and-white.

Lends credence to the time-honored adage, ”There are lies, damned lies…and statistics.”

2 thoughts on “Penguins Update: The Neville Islanders and Other Assorted Silliness”
  1. Rick & The Other Rick
    Awesome artlcle. I think we all agree we need to get younger and add speed but I would take
    Lee in a NY minute. He’s exactly what we need both on the power play and as a net front presence.
    Also, I agree that getting hit by POJ, Pettersson or Archibald doesn’t come close to having a Reaves
    or Deslauriers baring down on you as you go into the corner after the puck. This goes back to my
    opinion that the Pen’s aren’t strategic about adding the type of players needed to play on their 3rd
    and 4th lines “Playoff type players”!! Not Ashton Reese, Josh Archibald or Dominic Simone – whoever
    takes the Pen’s GM job has to do better in this area.
    Another Draft name – Offensive Defenseman – Best skater in the draft but his size scares me. His name
    is SANDIN PELLIKKA, AXEL – 5’11 176 – he’s being compared to Eric Karlsson who is slightly bigger at 6-0 190.

  2. Hey Rick,

    One factor I try to consider when looking at adding players to this roster of fossils is age Rick. Plucking some of the NYI players certainly would improve our bottom 6 (they are horrible) but I would be judicious about that. Our roster is old enough. Dobson, Horvat, Pelech, and Pulock are still growing into their prime and I wouldn’t complain about taking on more than 1 of those players. However, Lee (32), Martin (33), Nelson (31), Pageau (30), are on the back side of their prime. I wouldn’t want to take on more than one of those players for bottom 6 duty. Otherwise, our Pens will be right back to where they are no in just a year or 2.

    There is a problem also with your merging, unless you get someone other than Sullivan to Coach the team, goodbye size and grit. All your dreams still go up in smoke; none of the kids would get any TOI and only Pageau may get time from your 30 somethings.

    As for Tiffels, I do remember watching him in a prospect’s tournament in his cameo appearance in Professional North American Hockey. He had/has tons of speed and could be the puck hound necessary to play Sullivan’s speed game. He may ony have had 6 G, 22 A, and was +9 in Munich ECHL this past season, but he had 12 G, 37 A, and was +20 (49 Pts), and in 45 GP in 2021-2022, and 12 G, 23 A, and was + 6 in 37 GP (for Cologne) the season before. Now those numbers are not all that impressive, but consider this, Sullivan offered Dominik Simon a contract last summer, that Simon turned down. Simon had 2 G, 1 A, and was -6 for Sparta Praha, was a combined 3 G and 10 A and +/- 0 in the NHLin 2021-2022, and the year before that, the human pylon had 0 G and 0 A and was a +/- 0 in 11 GP for Calgary in the NHL and 0 G, 0 A, and a -2 in 1 GP for Stockton of the AHL, the year before that.

    Sullivan wanted Simon and even kept giving him top 6 TOI but didn’t want Tiffels.

    As for DeSimth, that is why these tournaments can be deceiving. DeSmith built decent numbers in the preliminary rounds when the opponents were Austria, France and Hungary, but when the games started to count, he was felled by Germany and Latvia. Imagine what would have happened if he had to play Canada or had Russia been in it.

    Although I would have loved to see him build up his stock a bit to trade him.

    Colton is an interesting name, but who would trade for his rights, that Tampa may want? Sullivan doesn’t really employ players that many teams around the league want.

    As for hits, that statistic can be extremely misleading. Which would you rather take 10 hits from POJ or 1 hit from Ryan Reaves? 10 Hits from Pettersson or 1 Hit from Deslauriers? Or even 5 Hits from Zucker (who is more physical than those 2 milquetoasts) or 1 Hit from Martin? Also, are you allowed to hit someone without the puck? So, doesn’t a lot of hits tend to mean a supposed possession team doesn’t have the puck?

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