Penguins Update: The Neville Islanders and Other Assorted Silliness

Be forewarned…the following post contains all sorts of nonsensical ramblings from a loose-leaf mind. But what the heck.

The other day I was thinking about the Penguins’ needs in preparation for my armchair GMing article when I conjured up a novel (and I must say) brilliant idea. Namely…the Pens and New York Islanders should merge.

Since it’s my brainchild, the team would be based in the ‘Burgh. We could call them the Neville Islanders.

Silly, I know. Then again…

The Pens and Isles would truly complement each other. To borrow from the old Biz Markie rap, “You got what I need”…and vice versa. We’ve got a skilled and talented top six and No. 1 defenseman. They possess size, power, depth, team defense and top-notch goaltending.

I salivate at the thought of adding the likes of Penguin killers Brock Nelson and Anders Lee, Bo Horvat, Jean-Gabriel Pageau and rugged Matt Martin to our forward mix, along with Noah Dobson and twin stalwarts Ryan Pulock and Adam Pelech to our blue-line brigade.

In goal? It doesn’t get any better than Ilya Sorokin.

My hybrid bunch, a Stanley Cup contender for sure.

Actually, there is a precedent for teams merging. In 1978, the woebegone Cleveland Barons (formerly California Golden Seals) and Minnesota North Stars joined forces. Thus reinforced, the recast North Stars made it to the Stanley Cup Final three seasons later.

Frederik Who?

The clock struck midnight Saturday at Tampere, Finland for Team USA and Pens goalie Casey DeSmith in particular, ending their Cinderella bid for a gold medal.

The culprit…or villain…if you prefer? An obscure former black-and-gold prospect named Frederik Tiffels.

Of course.

A sixth-round pick of the Pens back in 2015, the Cologne native played one season of pro hockey in North America (2017-18) following a largely nondescript collegiate career at Western Michigan. Splitting time between the Baby Pens and Wheeling Nailers, the 6’0” 191-pound left wing bagged 18 goals and 36 points in 56 games. He returned to his native land the following season.

Lest you think he’s burning up the track in Deutschland, think again. He tallied only six goals in 55 games for Munich EHC this past season.

But yesterday, the 28-year-old forward took a star turn at the IIHF World Championships. At 7:28 of overtime he beat DeSmith from the left dot to propel Germany to a huge 4-3 upset victory. It was Tiffels’ second goal of the contest and third in the tournament to go with six points.

As for DeSmith? Shades of this past season. After performing flawlessly through five games (including two shutouts), the wheels fell off the wagon at crunch time. He allowed the game-tying goal with only 1:23 left in regulation before yielding Tiffels’ OT-winner.

Unfortunately for Casey, it was a “case” (no pun intended) of déjà vu all over again this morning. Again he yielded goals late in regulation and early in overtime, this time to Latvia in the bronze-medal game, to throw a considerable damper over his earlier performances.

A bright spot amid the gloom? Fellow Pen Drew O’Connor, playing second-line center, picked up three assists over the weekend, giving him a robust eight points (3+5) to go with a plus-eight for the tournament.

Colton Boltin’?

Add Tampa Bay forward Ross Colton to my list of potential trade targets. An RFA-to-be (with arbitration rights), the former fourth-round pick could be an excellent addition to our middle six.

The hardworking 26-year-old can play left wing or center, possesses a scoring touch (38 goals over the past two seasons), is strong on faceoffs and isn’t shy about using his 6’0” 194-pound frame in a forceful manner (188 hits).

Working on an expiring two-year deal with an AAV of $1.125 million, he’s due for a decent raise. One the cap-strapped Bolts may not be able to afford.

Might make for a solid addition, especially if current Lightning exec Mathieu Darche becomes our next GM.

Strange but True

In the truth-is-stranger-than-fiction department, guess which team led the NHL in hits this season?

Yep…our Pens, with 2308.

I know. I had to do a double and even triple take to make sure my eyes weren’t deceiving me.

While I sure don’t consider us to be an overly physical team (if anything the polar opposite), especially in playoff terms, there it is in black-and-white.

Lends credence to the time-honored adage, ”There are lies, damned lies…and statistics.”