Penguins Update: Murder, Inc.

Back in the day, the Italian-American Mafia and Jewish mob carried out their nefarious activities with the aid of well-established enforcement groups. Headed by notorious gangsters such as Louis “Lepke” Buchalter and Albert “The Mad Hatter” Anastasia, “Murder, Inc.” was believed to have iced as many as 1000 unfortunate souls during the 1930s and early ‘40s.

Well, a modern-day proponent of malevolence and mayhem has surfaced in the National Hockey League. Cleverly disguised as the Metropolitan Division. Among the charter members…the Rangers, Flyers, Blue Jackets and Capitals. The caporegime? Our very own Pittsburgh Penguins.

Their specialty? Rubbing out teams from rival NHL divisions, to use the vernacular of the day. Often with brutal efficiency.

Need proof?

Exhibit A: the Pens’ 7-0 whacking of Arizona last night at PPG Paints Arena. Black-and-gold assassins Sid the Kid, Geno and Phil the Thrill blazed away in murderous Tommy Gun fashion. Chased those poor Coyotes all the way back to the desert.

Want more proof?

Exhibit B: the NHL standings. As of December 13, five of the league’s top seven teams are from the Metro. Heck, six wins in a row, and we still can’t claim sole possession of first place. That’s because Alain Vigneault and those darned Blueshirts from New York are trying to steal the champagne right from our Stanley Cup.

Reminds me of the Roaring Twenties, when Al Capone and Bugs Moran went toe-to-toe in Chi-Town.

Speakin’ of rival gangs, how about the hated Flyers? Nine-straight wins. The orange and black is musclin’ in on our turf, big time. Blame hit men like Claude Giroux (29 points), Wayne Simmonds (15 goals) and their puck-shootin’ Czech mate, Jakub Voracek (32 points). Not to mention second-line sidekick Brayden Schenn.

Expect lots of flyin’ lead (rubber) when they roll into town on February 25.

Can’t forget the Tortorella Gang over in Columbus. They’re 17-5-4. Fewest goals allowed in the league. Armed to the teeth with guys like Boone (Jenner), Harts (Scott Hartnell) and Nicky (Foligno). Now they’re packin’ some skill, too, with kid d-men Seth Jones and Zach Werenski and emerging triggerman Cam Atkinson.

Even Ovi and the fifth-place Caps are feelin’ the heat.

Five rival gangs. Three guaranteed playoff spots. Someone’s liable to get bumped off.

With 41 points and a share of the division lead, Sully’s boys are sittin’ pretty. But they’d better beware.