Sounds like a line from a Muddy Waters song. The Penguins got ‘dem heavy team blues.
A shame I’m not referring to an old Delta Blues tune. Or even the St. Louis Blues, the bruising denizens of the Western Conference who delivered more than a few lumps en route to a 3-0 drubbing of the black and gold at PPG Paints Arena last night.
I’m talking heavy teams in general.
I’ve been concerned all year about how the Pens have fared against brawnier competition. Especially in the wake of twin 7-1 embarrassments meted out by Columbus and Washington, Metro Division rivals that combine skill with bulk. So I decided to break down the Pens’ 2016-17 performance based on the average weight of opposing teams (see table below), according to a study by James Mirtle of The Globe and Mail.
The results are eye-catching. Worse yet, they confirm my fears. The Pens have, indeed, struggled this season against bigger NHL clubs.
Against the 10 heaviest teams in the league, they’ve compiled a pedestrian 6-5-5 record. They’ve been outscored by a wide margin, too.
With an 11-5 mark, the Pens have fared better against the comparative middleweights (teams 11-20 on the list). Facing foes in their own weight class (teams 21-30)? They’re a virtual juggernaut at 13-2.
Still, odds are good that we’ll face a Columbus or Washington come playoff time. Our chances of repeating as Stanley Cup champions hinge on doing a better job against our bulky brethren.
How do we accomplish that?
I wish I knew. GM Jim Rutherford and coach Mike Sullivan clearly are committed to winning with a fast, skilled team. Unless it’s done with surgical precision, trying to remake the Pens into a hybrid heavy team would likely result in a botched retool resembling an on-ice version of Frankenstein’s monster.
Chicago’s Stan Bowman faced similar issues last season. He tried to bulk up by adding Andrew Ladd and Dale Weiss at the trade deadline. The moves failed miserably, culminating in an uncharacteristic first-round playoff exit for the Blackhawks.
In the end, you’ve got to be true to who you are.
Still, the problem isn’t going to go away. Let’s hope the Pens find a solution.
| Penguins 2016-17 Record Based on Average Weight of NHL Teams | ||||||||
| Team | Avg Wt | GP | W | L | OT | PTS | GF | GA |
| Colorado | 209.7 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 3 | 4 |
| Buffalo | 207.1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 2 |
| Los Angeles | 207.0 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 2 | 4 |
| Dallas | 206.7 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 6 | 2 |
| Columbus | 206.3 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 7 |
| St. Louis | 206.1 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 3 |
| Winnipeg | 205.6 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Washington | 204.7 | 4 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 4 | 14 | 21 |
| New York Rangers | 204.0 | 3 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 4 | 15 | 8 |
| Toronto | 203.3 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 5 | 3 |
| Subtotal (Teams 1-10) | 16 | 6 | 5 | 5 | 17 | 47 | 54 | |
| San Jose | 203.1 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 8 | 2 |
| Nashville | 202.4 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 5 |
| New York Islanders | 202.3 | 3 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 4 | 10 | 9 |
| Anaheim | 202.2 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 8 | 3 |
| Edmonton | 202.0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 4 | 3 |
| Arizona | 201.2 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 7 | 0 |
| Detroit | 201.1 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 8 | 9 |
| Minnesota | 200.9 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 10 |
| Calgary | 200.9 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Carolina | 199.4 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 10 | 3 |
| Subtotal (Teams 11-20) | 16 | 11 | 5 | 0 | 22 | 60 | 44 | |
| Ottawa | 199.2 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 9 | 9 |
| Tampa Bay | 199.2 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 10 | 5 |
| Montreal | 199.0 | 3 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 4 | 8 | 8 |
| Florida | 198.6 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 8 | 3 |
| Boston | 197.9 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 9 | 4 |
| New Jersey | 197.8 | 3 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 13 | 6 |
| Pittsburgh | 197.4 | — | — | — | — | — | — | — |
| Philadelphia | 196.4 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 5 | 4 |
| Chicago | 195.3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Vancouver | 194.9 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Subtotal (Teams 21-30) | 15 | 13 | 2 | 0 | 26 | 62 | 39 | |
| Total | 47 | 30 | 12 | 5 | 65 | 169 | 137 | |
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