PenguinPoop Curse Alive and Well

A word of caution before you begin to read. This is a silly article meant to poke a little fun at my prognostication abilities…or lack of.

For as long as I can remember, there’s been a thing called the Sports Illustrated cover jinx. It seemed whenever SI featured an athlete or team on their cover, invariably said athlete or team would tank.

That happened to our Penguins in 2012. The NHL Playoff Preview edition posed the question, “Who Will Stop the Penguins?”

The Flyers, that’s who, in an ultra-humbling first-round upset.

Well, I’m happy to report that our Buker PenguinPoop curse is alive and well, too.

How does it work, you ask? As a general rule, if I compliment a player or team, they falter. If I criticize them, they do well.

I posted an upbeat article on March 20 singing Brandon Tanev’s praises. The feisty Pens winger promptly went on IR and played only two more regular-season games.

My anti-mojo isn’t limited to the black and gold. Early in the season I wrote this complimentary blurb about Montreal:

“So what’s the optimal mix of players? Think Montreal, currently occupying second place in the Scotia North Division with a sparkling record of 7-2-2. Yes, those Canadiens…the ones who dispatched us lickety-split in four easy games last fall.”

As noted, the Habs were 7-2-2 at the time. After winning their next game, the Canadiens slipped into a 16-19-9 tailspin the rest of the way and barely made the playoffs. When they rebounded in the postseason, I commented to coworker Caleb Di’Natale that they seem to be “a team of destiny.” Montreal promptly lost Game 4 to Vegas. (They bounced back in Game 5…perhaps because my observation was only verbal and not in writing.)

Among teams I’ve ruined, I wrote glowingly on a couple of occasions that Toronto wisely followed Tampa Bay’s lead by adding muscle to their mix. They promptly blew a 3-1 series lead to the aforementioned Canadiens.

Other notable victims include poor Colorado, who I predicted would win the Cup.

On the flip side, a couple of seasons back I opined that the Blues “weren’t that good.” (Of course they won the Cup.) But my piece de resistance is the Islanders. Before the playoffs began I offered, “If you’re like me, you were pulling really (really) hard for the Penguins to face the New York Islanders in the opening round of the Stanley Cup playoffs.”

They’re still playing, last time I checked.

Bottom line? Pay attention to my opinion. Then bet heavily on the opposite coming true…lol.

Tkachuk Available?

Okay, on to serious stuff. Pittsburgh Hockey Now broke a story that Matthew Tkachuk may want out of Calgary and suggested GM Ron Hextall make a call.

An aggressive left wing and the son of long-time NHLer Keith Tkachuk, the 23-year-old native of Scottsdale, Arizona perfectly fits the bill for the type of player the Pens want to add. He’s 6’2” 202 and plays an edgy, abrasive game.

Productive, too. In 2018-19, he rang up 34 goals and 77 points for the Flames. Although he tailed off a bit the past couple of seasons (43 points in 56 games in ’20-21), there’s no questioning his pedigree.

What would it take to land Tkachuk? Probably Jake Guentzel, although we’d need to free up additional cap space to take on Matthew’s $7 million cap hit. Oh, he’s under contract only through the coming season.

Good or bad, depending on your perspective.