Why Don’t the Penguins Value Toughness?

Question. How many undersized, non-physical, puck-moving defensemen can you stuff into one organization? Apparently, the Penguins don’t have enough, because they signed Christopher Merisier-Ortiz to a two-year minor-league deal on Wednesday. All 5’11”, 172 pounds of him.

Add him to prospects like Clayton Phillips (5’10” 182) and Cam Lee (6’0” 183)? We have the makings of an imposing defense (not) down the road.

Did I mention the seven d-men who dressed for Tampa Bay during the playoffs averaged 221 pounds?

You’ve probably guessed by now where my somewhat cryptic lead-in is heading. Yes, to my favorite nit to pick. The Pens’ lack of toughness.

Anyone who’s read PenguinPoop over the years knows I’ve banged this gong more times than Big Ben has struck midnight. If I seem to be turning into a one-trick pony these days…well…I almost feel like I’m being forced into it.

I’m still mystified and frustrated beyond belief as to why the Pens haven’t added some much-needed beef to the lineup this summer. Especially since heavies such as Ryan Reaves, Rasmus Ristolainen and Jarred Tinordi now roam the Metro. Oh, and Columbus signed physical forwards Sean Kuraly and Zac Rinaldo, a rabid screw-loose version of ex-Pen Brandon Tanev.

As presently constructed, we have no deterrent whatsoever. No one to make foes keep their heads up and take notice. No one to answer the bell when push inevitably comes to shove.

Yes, I know. We’re tight against the cap, which has limited general manager Ron Hextall’s options to an extent. But with a little creativity we could’ve landed someone…anyone…who can do some bangin’ and defend the team’s honor if necessary.

We’re down a right-side defenseman. Erik Gudbranson would’ve (and would still) do nicely. Apparently, the Pens have no interest, even though the big guy played his best hockey for us a couple of years back and could probably be had for a song.

I don’t know if we were in play for heavyweight power forward Nick Ritchie or not. (Probably not since he hits and fights.) Instead, we signed middleweight Brock McGinn, for more money and more term. For the record, Ritchie outscored McGinn 15 goals to eight last season.

Heck, at this stage I would’ve settled for a pure fighter like Scott Sabourin. Alas, the fast-swinging lefty signed with Ottawa on Wednesday.

I’m well aware that coach Mike Sullivan prefers gritty to heavy. What did he say following our ouster at the hands of the Islanders? “We didn’t lose this series because we weren’t big enough.”

Maybe that wasn’t the only reason. But it sure was a major contributing factor.

For the record, the Pens were the second-smallest team in hockey heading into the offseason, a condition we did nothing to remedy with our free-agent signings. Given our Smurfish dimensions, maybe it’s no coincidence we’re the second most injured team in the NHL since 2010-11. When two bodies collide, usually the larger one’s going to win the battle. It’s a matter of physics…and physiques.

Okay, I’ll stop my ramble and get to the point. Sullivan’s obvious bias aside (and, strange as it seems, perhaps Hextall’s, too), I’m truly mystified as to why the Pens as an organization don’t value toughness. Especially with Brian Burke, a well-known proponent of physical hockey, serving as president of hockey operations.

Yeah, I know we’ve traditionally emphasized skill over sock. A culture that certainly has reaped significant rewards, not to mention five Stanley Cups. Over one glorious 26-season span, black-and-gold megastars Mario Lemieux, Jaromir Jagr, Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin claimed the Art Ross Trophy 15 times…a truly staggering total. But it’s all-too-easy to forget that toughness played a vital role in our success, too.

Talented as they were, the 1990-91 Pens were floundering until in-your-face addition Ulf Samuelsson kept the crease clear and belted every opposing forward in sight. Ditto the following season with the arrival of warrior winger Rick Tocchet and hulking d-man Kjell Samuelsson.

One of the first things former GM Ray Shero did when he arrived in 2006 was to make us harder to play against. In short order, he imported landsharks Jarkko Ruutu, Georges Laraque and Gary Roberts. We went to the 2008 Final with those guys handling the policing chores and won a Cup the following season with Eric Godard serving as sheriff and Bill Guerin riding shotgun for Sidney Crosby.

The 2010-11 team was arguably the toughest in the league. Godard, Mike Rupp, Deryk Engelland, Arron Asham, Craig Adams and Brooks Orpik were aided and abetted by second-tier scrappers Matt Cooke, Tyler Kennedy, Max Talbot and Joe Vitale.

If you like a team that stands up for itself and then some, those were the good ol’ days.

Unfortunately, that brusque bunch may have unwittingly contributed to our present pacifist state. Following the infamous “Fight Night” brawl with the Islanders on February 11, 2011, owner Mario Lemieux engaged in a verbal sparring match with the NHL office over the officiating. Mario called out the league higher-ups and they responded in kind, noting…rightfully so…the Pens weren’t exactly a bunch of choir boys.

Whether that incident altered Mario’s perspective on physical play and fighting, it’s hard to say. The tragic and untimely deaths of enforcers Wade Belak, Derek Boogaard and Rick Rypien may have contributed to a change of heart, as well as Crosby’s career-threatening concussion. But the team began a gradual 180 Lady Byng-spin in the aftermath toward a more gentlemanly approach.

And, yes, we won those back-to-back Cups in ’16 and ’17 sans a legit physical presence, although our champs were girded by hard-rock gamers Ian Cole, Chris Kunitz and Patric Hornqvist and were tougher than they appeared on paper.

Now the siren’s sounded. The league is clearly trending toward a more physical game. It seems everyone’s muscling up. Boston signed ex-Blue Jacket Nick Foligno. Toronto got Ritchie and re-upped Wayne Simmonds. The Lightning corralled Zach Bogosian and Corey Perry. Montreal…hulking d-man David Savard. Even skill-first teams like Colorado (Kurtis MacDermid) have gotten into the act.

Everyone, that is, except our Pens. Kind of feels like we’re an ostrich with our collective heads stuck in the sand.

No offense to the dearly and recently departed, but it’s enough to make “Bugsy” Watson roll over in his grave.