Sandpaper Missing from Penguins Mix

I don’t know about you. But I found it more than a tad ironic that the first ever fight in Da Beauty League (generally as tame as the name suggests) involved a Penguin.

Teddy Blueger swapped punches with Boston forward Vinni Lettieri on Monday night and by most accounts won the decision. What’s more, his four career NHL tilts make him a frequent fighter by black-and-gold standards. Perhaps “Bluegs” will serve as our enforcer this season.

I’m only half kidding.

To digress, general manager Ron Hextall’s done yeoman’s work this summer. He did a masterful job of locking up free agents Evgeni Malkin, Kris Letang, Bryan Rust and Rickard Rakell, and at a slight drop in combined pay to boot. (Okay, Kasperi Kapanen and Casey DeSmith, too.) GMRH brought back Danton Heinen for $100 K less than last season, when the crafty winger notched a career-best 18 goals. And he gave the pot a good stir and added some functional size by acquiring Jeff Petry and Ryan Poehling and signing Jan Rutta.

The one area he hasn’t addressed, at least sufficiently? You guessed it.

It starts with a “T” and rhymes with fluffness.

At the present, the only players under contract who play with a discernable edge are prospect Nathan Legare, spare defenseman Mark Friedman and free-agent pick-ups Josh Archibald and Drake Cagguila. Archibald and Cagguila, forwards both, stand 5’10” and weigh in at a less-than-imposing 176 pounds. Practically a behemoth by comparison, Friedman goes 5’11” 185.

Of the four, Legare and Cagguila will most assuredly start the season at Wilkes-Barre/Scranton. Given the Pens’ cap issues and an apparent dearth of trading partners, Archibald and Friedman could be exposed to waivers in attempt to clear space. I’d especially hate to lose Friedman, speedy and feisty. Not only adept at plugging gaps on either side of the blue line but up front as well.

Given our present cap-crunch, which could restrict our ability to summon replacements, I could envision Friedman filling a super utility role similar to Ian Moran back in the 1990s (except more super). However, with a very attractive cap hit of only $775 K, I can easily see another team plucking the Toronto native off the waiver wire, much as we did in 2021. Which would leave us with nada, zip, nothing in the sandpaper department.

With arguably the four toughest heavyweights in the league, Nicolas Deslauriers, Tom Wilson and old friends Erik Gudbranson and Ryan Reaves roaming the Metro, not to mention loose cannons Jacob Trouba and Tony DeAngelo, that would leave us in a terribly vulnerable spot.

Age be darned (he’ll turn 38 this season) I’d gladly welcome back Brian Boyle. While not a true heavyweight by fighting standards, the Boyler provided at least a degree of protection as well as a bona fide physical presence. Not to mention 11 goals, first-rate penalty killing and sterling leadership. But I just don’t see the Pens making the big guy an offer.

Peering into the free-agent abyss? I saw Brett Ritchie’s name pop up on Pittsburgh Hockey Now a little while back. I’d made an offhanded reference to the 29-year-old right wing last summer.

If you’re looking for production, Brett’s the wrong Ritchie. His kid brother, Nick, who patrols left wing for Arizona, is the scorer in the family. A second-round pick of Dallas in 2011, Brett did pot 16 goals for the Stars back in 2016-17, but he hasn’t topped seven goals in a season since.

Hardly a selling point for coach Mike Sullivan, who isn’t terribly fond of tough guys to begin with. But Ritchie does possess some redeeming qualities, including size (6’4” 220), surprisingly good possession numbers for a player of his ilk (56.4 Corsi with Calgary last season) and the ability to handle his dukes very well, as a 2021 kayo of Jujhar Khaira will attest.

Maybe not the kind of player you throw out there on a nightly basis. But when we square off against physical foes like the Rangers?

A luxury we probably can’t afford.

With the Pens likely to lose more promising players due to cap constraints, the chances of bringing in a player like Ritchie (or Boyle) even on a PTO are roughly akin to finding a snowball floating down the Mon in August.

We’ll most likely stick with the status quo. Which means we’ll be treated to another season of watching guys like Trouba and Wilson run our stars with impunity.

The “just play” way.

The Thrill in Vegas

Phil Kessel has found a new home. The popular former Pen signed a one-year deal with Vegas at a bargain-basement rate of $1.5 million.

Although he endured a down season in ’21-22 scoring wise (eight goals), “The Thrill” can still create (44 assists) and run a power play. And if he gets playing time beside Jack Eichel?

A potential jackpot for the Golden Knights and our favorite poker-loving, hot dog chomping iron-man.