Going, Going, Gone: Penguins all but Kiss Their Playoff Hopes Goodbye with Hideous Loss to Hawks

During the War Between the States, a Union corporal came across a package of three cigars wrapped in paper out in an open field. That innocuous piece of paper turned out to be a copy of Special Order 191, detailing Confederate General Robert E. Lee’s plans for his first invasion of the North.

The orders made their way to George B. McClellan, commanding general of the Union Army of the Potomac. “Here is a paper with which, if I cannot whip Bobby Lee, I will be willing to go home,” McClellan gushed.

Although he knew every move Lee planned to make and enjoyed a near 2-1 advantage in manpower, McClellan could do no better than fight the Rebels to a bloody stalemate during the ensuing battle of Antietam.

Well, our Penguins were handed their own version of Special Order 191 on Monday night when their closest competition for a wild-card spot, the Islanders and Panthers, lost. All our guys had to do was win their final two games against bottom-feeders Chicago and Columbus and they were in.

With a 17^th consecutive postseason appearance all but stashed in their hip pocket, the Pens let last night’s game against the Blackhawks slip through their fingers, resulting in a 5-2 loss that was as disheartening as it was disturbing.

When Kris Letang broke his stick while attempting a slap shot from the left point late in the second period, I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach it was going to be one of those nights. Actually, I got that sense long before. Almost from the opening draw the bounces weren’t going our way. Loose pucks were hopping over flailing black-and-gold sticks. Guys were turning the wrong way.

Heck, Sidney Crosby must’ve had close to a dozen scoring chances all by himself, not to mention eight shots on goal. None of ‘em went in.

Going strictly by the numbers, our guys didn’t play all that horribly. Indeed, we ran up a whopping 81-42 edge in shot attempts and a 40-27 advantage in shots on goal. However, while we seemed to grip our sticks too tight, the visiting Blackhawks played free, easy and responsibly.

The poster child was veteran goalie Petr Mrazek. Preternaturally cool and razor-sharp, he appeared to anticipate every move and every black-and-gold shot before it happened. It didn’t help that for all our shot activity, we didn’t create much traffic and we weren’t able to penetrate the prime scoring areas between the circles. At least not often enough. As a result, most of our shots came from the perimeter or from sharp angles and were easily tracked by Mrazek.

Following a scoreless opening frame, the game began trending down, down, down to where Gollum lives at 8:04 of the second period, when Hawks d-man Connor Murphy beat Tristan Jarry with a long-range blast through traffic.

To Jarry’s credit, he regrouped and held serve, at least for the rest of the period, with a couple of big saves on Anders Bjork with five minutes to go to keep the score at 1-0.

The Hawks’ Caleb Jones took a tripping penalty 40 seconds into the final period, but our pop-gun power play failed to convert. At 2:44, Danton Heinen fired a wicked shot off a faceoff from point-blank range, but Mrazek somehow nudged the puck aside. Then Jones was whistled again, this time for holding Bryan Rust, and we finally (FINALLY) broke through.

With time ticking down on the man-advantage, Rickard Rakell cut loose a shot/pass from the top of the right circle that found Evgeni Malkin parked in the slot. Having gained body position on Murphy, the big center deflected the puck home to knot the score.

While Geno and the crowd went bonkers, I breathed a sigh of relief. Having finally dented Mrazek, I had hopes we’d pull this one out or at the very least garner a point.

How foolish of me.

Just past the 10-minute mark, Jones unleashed a harmless shot from the left point. The puck hit 31-year-old journeyman Buddy Robinson and dropped fortuitously onto his stick blade. In a flash, the puck was behind Jarry.

Cue the collapse. On the ensuing shift Brian Dumoulin was trapped on an ill-advised pinch, springing Bjork and Andreas Athanasiou on a 2-on-1. Jarry stopped the speedy winger’s initial shot but stumbled awkwardly getting back into his net to cover the post. Athanasiou reached from below the goal line and swatted it home.

The Hawks left the door open a crack when rookie Wyatt Kaiser was called for hooking at 15:49. Again, we failed to convert. With Jarry pulled for an extra attacker, Tyler Johnson blew past Letang and split the empty net before giving Crosby a celebratory shot with his stick.

Heinen banged in a token goal at 19:22, but it was far too little, too late. Mackenzie Entwistle (great name) tacked on a second empty-netter to close out the scoring.

To borrow from the ol’ Gunner, Bob Prince, we can kiss it (our playoff hopes) goodbye.

Puckpourri

Frankly, I’m still stunned, so this is going to be more of a ramble than usual.

In many ways, the game was a fair if unfortunate microcosm of our season. We dominated “the process” as metrics mavens like to say but not where it mattered most…on the scoreboard. And we lost to an inferior team.

Needless to say, incredibly disappointing…and frustrating.

Our robotic (idiotic?) habit of having our defensemen pinch bit us squarely in the arse on the Hawks’ third goal. When will these guys learn to use discretion? Maybe never. At least as long as Mike Sullivan’s coach.

Dmitry Kulikov returned to the lineup after missing 14 games and finished a minus-1 in 9:54 of ice time. Although it didn’t really affect the outcome, I would’ve stuck with Mark Friedman, a better puck mover.

Speaking of moves, I would’ve been tempted to flip-flop Rakell and Rust in an attempt to get something going. Would’ve also put Alexander Nylander, who again showed flashes, on the second power play in place of space taker Jeff Carter.

At a critical juncture, our goaltending once again let us down. I don’t fault Jarry on the first two goals. But the Athanasiou tally was on him.

Malkin and Rakell finished a minus-4 each, Letang and Jason Zucker minus-3 apiece. Sid, Dumoulin and Jake Guentzel, who I thought was pretty much invisible, finished at minus-2.

Our power play (1-for-5) was awful. We could barely gain the zone, let alone establish any sustained pressure.

On Tap

The Pens (40-31-10, 90 points) wrap up the season in Columbus Thursday night against the Blue Jackets (24-47-9, 57 points).

As for our all-but-snuffed playoff hopes? The Islanders must lose in regulation to the banged-up Canadiens tonight and we must beat the Jackets to get in. Forlorn hope at this stage.

Since we beat the Rangers back on December 20, we’re 21-22-6. Since our overtime win over the Blueshirts on March 12, we’re 6-9.

How’s that for mediocre?