Playoffs Would’ve Been Hazardous to Penguins Health

I’m glad the Penguins didn’t make the playoffs.

No, that’s not a misstatement. You read it right.

After watching the first three nights of Stanley Cup Playoff action, I’m more convinced than ever that our Pens would not have fared well. The games are way too fast, intense and physical for our bumbling waterfowl as presently constructed.

Heck, none of the teams competing for the Cup slog out of the starting blocks or take periods off.

Translation? We would’ve been annihilated…or worse.

We need to be bigger, faster, younger, tougher and just plain better. How our new management team can possibly achieve that goal on a quick turnaround remains to be seen. There’s so much work to be done. So much dead wood to clear out.

To my eye, any or all of the following need to be replaced: Jeff Carter, Mikael Granlund, Danton Heinen, Brian Dumoulin, Jeff Petry, Chad Ruhwedel and Dmitry Kulikov. Perhaps goalies Tristan Jarry and Casey DeSmith as well. Josh Archibald and Jan Rutta didn’t do badly considering their roles. But if they can be upgraded, go for it.

Maybe you re-sign Nick Bonino to center the fourth line and kill penalties. Maybe you don’t.

That’s virtually half the team. A tall task, indeed, to be accomplished in a single off-season.

Claw Marks

The Panthers are giving the Big, Bad Bruins all they can handle and more. After dropping a tightly contested Game 1, they bombed the Presidents’ Trophy winners last night, 6-3, to snag home-ice advantage.

Led by the likes of Matthew Tkachuk, “Playoff” Sam Bennett, Radko Gudas, Ryan Lomberg and Aaron Ekblad, they’ve matched the rugged Bruins check-for-check while beating them at their own hard forechecking game.

The Panthers know all-too-well how it feels to go from being the hunter to the hunted. After racking up 58 wins and 122 points last season, they were swept in the second round by the defending Cup champion Lightning.

Backstopping this upstart bunch is 30-year-old Cinderella Man Alex Lyon, who bumped aside $10 million man Sergei Bobrovsky and is making the most of his storybook opportunity. FYI: the former Yale standout was originally signed as a free agent back in 2016 by then-Flyers and former Pens GM Ron Hextall.

Perhaps there’s hope for Hextall’s black-and-gold free-agent signees Taylor Gauthier and Filip Lindberg. In fact, the latter’s college stats bear a striking resemblance to those posted by Lyon.

Beware the Stars and Oil

Although the East is generally considered the stronger conference, watch out for the Dallas Stars. Deep, talented and tough and backed by Jake Oettinger in net, they’re my sleeper pick to capture the Cup.

Speaking of stars, the star-laden Oilers could take a run at Lord Stanley’s chalice, too, although goaltending might be their Achilles heel.

Add the Rangers to my short list of Cup contenders. They look really impressive. They have a good mix of youth and experience, plenty of depth and just the right blend of skill and toughness. Adam Fox is one of the best distributors on the power play I’ve ever seen. And they’ve got Igor Shesterkin between the pipes.

It wouldn’t surprise me if they go all the way.