• Sun. Apr 28th, 2024

The Penguins Are Embarrassing

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ByCaleb Di'Natale

Apr 12, 2023

Well….last night the Penguins needed to win against the Chicago Blackhawks, not kind of needed to win, not somewhat needed to win, an absolute must win. They were in complete control of their playoff destiny coming into the game.

And what did the Penguins do? Did they come out guns blazing? Trying to stifle a Chicago team who has nothing to play for and are trying to win the Connor Bedard sweepstakes.

No. They, in fact, did not do that, they spent the first forty minutes of the game aimlessly skating around and daydreaming about upsetting Boston and making it to the Stanley Cup riding a rainbow.

Where was the urgency? It looked like outside of Crosby and the core, nobody cared? I’m not going to give too in-depth of an overview as I know fellow PenguinPoop writer Rick Buker will cover the entirety of the game I’m sure.

But starting us off the game was scoreless for the first twenty minutes of the game, and that right there is a bad sign…..

It should have been three to four nothing right off the bat, and I mean that. This top six forward group should have been merciless those first twenty, giving them no breathing room and making no doubt that they would win, trying to give Chicago even less reason to play.

Don’t get it twisted, if you don’t score in the first, and the Hawks believe they have a shot at being a spoiler, they absolutely will play spoiler. So in fact it was the Blackhawks last night who were merciless and not the team that needed to be.

So a powerplay for Chicago in the second gets killed off, and shortly after Connor Murphy opens the scoring for the Hawks at 8:04 into the period. Bad start for the Penguins, who should have already been up as they wasted two powerplays, two sad, pathetic, and lackluster effort powerplays.

Now we head to the third with a Chicago team now ahead one nothing, and I’m sure dedicated to playing spoiler, and the Penguins are now desperate and frustrated and ready to play urgently. But urgency was needed at puck drop and it wasn’t there.

The third starts out great with an early powerplay, and a little bit more desperation, and then the Penguins proceed to almost give up a short-handed and then waste yet another powerplay opportunity.

How many gifts do the Penguins need to win? The Hawks are not going to give you a win, you earn every inch of ice. You have to fight for a win in this league, even against the teams at the bottom of the standings.

Then the Penguins get yet another powerplay, they finally score on this one, big boy Evgeni Malkin comes up with a nice tip-in and a playoff level celebration to try and spark the team. But all the sparking that this core tried to do couldn’t get this bloated pig corpse of a team to get going.

At 10:22 of the period, just 5 minutes later in complete Penguins fashion the Hawks score again. A goal by a nobody player, Buddy Robinson who’s a 31-year-old AHL lifer (no offense to Buddy) off one of the most disastrous, sloppy, disorganized, and out of position efforts from the Penguins who themselves end up looking like AHL-ers in embarrassing fashion.

Right after that the Hawks get another at 10:48, yes only 26 seconds later, in a must win game for the Penguins, they just completely collapse. It’s another embarrassing play, Penguins fumbling around miss a pass up the boards to Anders Bjork who taps it off to Andreas Athanasiou who’s all alone comes flying down the center of the ice takes a shot wide which bounces and he smacks towards the net, and for some ungodly reason Tristian Jarry comes way out of his net and he desperately tries to get back as the shot bounces around his pads, and Andreas Athanasiou taps it in behind him the minute he sees it. It was literally comical, this team at this point didn’t look like a team that should even be in the playoff race, they looked like one in the Connor Bedard race.

The penguins get another powerplay, and pull Jarry, they continue to waste another opportunity, followed by another lack luster effort to stop Tyler Johnson who skips his way up the ice for an empty netter.

Finally, the Penguins get another goal by Danton Heinen in a sloppy defensive play by the Hawks, but at this point it’s all of to little to late with 38 seconds left.

The Penguins look defeated by this point. Jarry stays pulled, and the Penguins do the typical meandering around the ice not even trying to put everything they’ve got into getting goals in the last 38 seconds, which is very unlikely but bot impossible. The puck floats out to the middle of the ice and no effort in stopping the Hawks from putting another one away. Game over, and most likely season over…

Now the Penguins need a miracle to happen. As I don’t see the Islanders giving up this gift from the Penguins to lose against Montreal.

Let’s be honest, the Penguins deserve this, I got some satisfaction in watching them lose, knowing that finally the realization that this group are not good, not fast and not playoff worthy.

This team doesn’t deserve the playoffs outside of the core, and as much as Sidney Crosby tried to carry this clown fiesta to the playoffs, he’s just one player, and a supporting cast of absolute Neanderthals.

All I have to say is goodbye Hextall, you won’t be missed.

5 thoughts on “The Penguins Are Embarrassing”
  1. I can agree with the entire article. Even though more hockey is good hockey, I didn’t see this team upsetting Boston or getting past the first round. It’s a reality check for the team, players and fans. It will get worse, and we have to put our big boy pants on and face it. FSG will make some big decisions but maybe not for the best? They cut a lot and changed up the Red Sox and a little with Liverpool FC quite a bit so it concerns me that they might do the same thing with the Penguins. They can cut funding and still want a return, as that can and will happen just like other sports and private equity. The questionable trades, which all seemed like splash moves to me just to seem like they were doing stuff to try and win and make the playoffs is all just fluff. We didn’t need Petry, Bonino, Granlund, Rutta, etc. but we did this to have the illusion like we were in to win. It was all money and cap and wow that was a crappy performance, still spending over the cap and restricting players to play after trades. If Hextall is not replaced, it just proves that FSG is just doing stuff for the sake of doing stuff, to make money and have a mediocre hockey team. If I’m way off pace, I’d love some feedback/conversation as I love hockey talk. Thanks!

    1. Hey Rick!

      I agree, I think we had no shot against Boston, I’m actually glad. I think playing them would have almost been more embarrassing, most likely a straight up sweep, a total dissection on national television.

      As for FSG, I think they will be making draaaassstic changes to all of their clubs, they’re known for that. I’m going to give them a chance, as I said to Jim in the comments below, from what I hear Hextall is as good as gone, probably either after our game with the Jackets or on Friday.

      The trades were all desperation moves by Hextall to just do something, they had no rhyme or reason, when FSG asked for his plan he said no comment… (how embarrassing) then he said it was all in his head, yeeaaaa something in your head alright.

      Hopefully when we get a new GM that J.T. Miller trade goes out the door with Hextall.

      TOTALY agree about Petry, Granlund and Rutta, we espically didn’t need Rutta when we had Ty Smith. As for Bonino, I mean he’s okay but you could have traded for a younger guy who does the same.

      The worst part about wasting all that cap, is that the core all took pay cuts hoping they would use the money wiser, and instead they get a steaming pile of dog sh*t. What a insult to this group, honestly.

      Thanks for commenting Rick!

  2. Hi Caleb
    Nice to see you writing again. You chose the perfect title for your excellent analysis of our beloved Pens. They are indeed Embarrassing ! We have not been a true Cup Contender for several years yet my American friends continue to push this propaganda that some how Pittsburgh is special. Wake up and smell the roses folks. The rebuild starts tomorrow when we are officially eliminated and the 2023 Pen.s season is over. We need to be younger, faster, bigger and more skilled to win another Cup, plus we need a complete management and Coaching change.
    One last thing Caleb. How embarrassing for the Fen-way Sports Group to pay 900 million dollars and realize you bought a Lemon ?? It will be 2030 before we become the team we once were. I wonder if they will wait that long or sell the team before.
    Cheers
    Jim

    1. Hey Jim,

      The FSG also has to look in the mirror. They had plenty of opportunities to clean house and limited some of the damage done this season and they did nothing. I will have more to say later. running a bit right now.

    2. Hello Jim! And Thank you

      Trying to get around to replying to everyone but I get so busy haha!
      So I think we will see a re-tooling not a full rebuild, FSG has said as much, and to quote them they said “We want a quick turn around”.

      Interesting to see that they in fact they did not get that, they got the opposite with what I can safely say now is the worst GM in Penguins history, Hextall.

      I suspect by Friday Hextall will be no more in Pittsburgh, how could he be? Rumors are already going behind the scene from what I hear that he’s as good as gone. As for Sullivan, he’s signed until 2027 and he’s a Boston guy and FSG is Boston, so I think he will get one more season and hopefully on a very short leash.

      haha a Lemon, yea I don’t necessarily think FSG realizeed what they had and how much drastic change the team needed. But FSG is known for crazy bold change so I suspect big moves this off season to get the team back to a competitive state.

      I think it’s yet to be seen if that’s even possible and what the new GM will do, but I think most likely you’re correct and this team won’t be a cup contender for another decade.

      But hey great run for this group, couldn’t be happier as a Pens fan, I’ll take 3 stanely cups all day, look at Tronto haha we could be that.

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