My Ten (make it Eleven) Favorite Penguins of All-Time: Part 1

I was working the front desk at Wright’s Gym a while back, more or less minding my own business, when an idea for an article popped into my head.

Who are my 10 favorite Penguins of all-time?

As I began to compile the list in my head, I immediately ran into a dilemma. One of Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin, our fabled Two-Headed Monster, would not make the cut.

After debating about what to do, I took the cowardly way out and decided to include both.

Keep in mind, the compilation is in no way a reflection of my appreciation for a player’s abilities. I personally think Sid may be the finest all-around hockey player in the history of the game, and I have enormous respect for his consistency, drive and dedication.

As for Geno, he’s the closest thing I’ve seen to Mario Lemieux, at least up through his magical Hart Trophy season of 2011-12. Just a dynamic talent, especially during his early years.

However, objectivity doesn’t necessarily carry the most weight when compiling a favorites list. To the contrary, a lot of it’s based on undefinable yet palpable qualities…kind of like what attracts you to a spouse or mate. That’s part of the fun of it. In particular, you’ll notice a preponderance of power forwards and scrappers…my favorite types of players.

Without further ado, here’s my 10…er…11 favorite Pens of all-time. Due the length of the bios, I decided to split the article into two installments.

Batting leadoff…my “fave five.”

MARIO LEMIEUX (1984-1997, 2000-05)

Of all the hockey players I’ve ever had the pleasure of watching, none match the incomparable Mario Lemieux.

Close your eyes and the images come flooding back: big No. 66 in black and gold eluding Bruins great Raymond Bourque to score on his first shot on goal; taking a picture perfect pass from Wayne Gretzky in the 1987 Canada Cup and firing the series winner past Soviet goalie Sergei Mylnikov; dragging the Nordiques’ Marc Fortier halfway down the ice to deposit the puck in the net; and splitting Minnesota’s defense like a knife going through hot butter in the 1991 Stanley Cup finals to score perhaps the most brilliant goal ever witnessed.

Blessed with an exquisite blend of size, reach, touch, quickness, power, and deception, Mario was a magician on the ice. He transformed seemingly routine plays into treasure-trove goals through his marvelous sleight of hand.

“What he can do, I couldn’t do,” offered Bobby Orr, widely regarded as the finest player in the history of the game pre-Mario. “He can do more things than any other player I’ve ever seen.”

Former NHL defenseman and analyst Brian Engblom concurred. “The toughest one-on-one player I ever faced was Mario Lemieux. Try and stop him. Deceptive speed, fluid motion, magic hands, and perfect depth perception. He could put moves on you that left you feeling violated! To this day, I have no answer on how to stop Mario when he’s on his game.”

Lemieux’s surname translates to “the best” in English. And he was, plain and simply, the best. And my favorite.

JAROMIR JAGR (1990-2001)

If not for Mario, Jaromír Jágr would likely be celebrated as the greatest player in black-and-gold history. The fact that the Pens were even able to draft the Czech sensation was due in no small part to a bit of chicanery on Jaromír’s part. He indicated to the clubs drafting ahead of us that he planned to play in his native Czech Republic…until it became our turn to pick. Paving the way for him to join his idol.

Indeed, the Lemieux-Jágr combination seemed presaged in the stars.

“You all know that if you jumble ‘Jaromír’ you come up with ‘Mario Jr.,’” sports personality Stan Savran noted.

More than one observer likened him to a young Mario. Certainly there were striking similarities. Both were strong, powerful skaters with a flair for the dramatic.

Others felt Jágr more closely resembled one of hockey’s most iconic stars.

“He reminds me of Maurice Richard,” said Pens coach Scotty Bowman. “They both played the off-wing, and both had so many moves. I don’t think either of them knew which moves they were going to make until they did them. Totally unpredictable.”

Indeed. A play that sticks in my mind even more than his brilliant, one-hand-on-the-stick overtime tally against the Devils during the ’91 playoffs or his scoring foray through the entire Blackhawks team the following spring occurred on May 11, 1992, during Game 5 of the Patrick Division Finals.

With just over five minutes left in regulation and the score tied at 2-apiece, Jágr bolted into the Rangers’ zone with the puck and skated straight at Jeff Beukeboom, a formidable obstacle. Just as the rugged defenseman stepped up to challenge, Jaromír made a ballistic, 90-degree turn to the left while skating at top speed.

Beukeboom literally blew up. I’m serious…there were arms and legs flying in every direction. Unfettered, Jágr drove straight to the net and torched John Vanbiesbrouck for the game-winner.

Unbelievable.

RICK TOCCHET (1992-94)

With our defending Cup champions in disarray following the death of beloved coach “Badger” Bob Johnson, GM Craig Patrick pulled the trigger on a stunning three-team swap in February 1992. Gone were future of Hall-of-Famers Paul Coffey and Mark Recchi. The incoming haul included Tocchet, a ferocious former Flyer with silk-purse hands and two 40-goal seasons on his resume.

My enduring memory of “Dicky” occurred during a game with the Blackhawks a few weeks later. Early in the contest he suffered a fractured jaw courtesy of a wayward Mario shot. With blood stains spattered on his uniform, the warrior winger not only returned to action but struck for the game-tying and game-winning goals in the third period, both on plays in traffic.

In the coming weeks, with his jaw still on the mend, Tocchet fought heavyweights Kris King and Kevin Hatcher and made short work of Bruins disturber Brent Hughes during the ’92 Cup run.

Pretty much says it all about his toughness.

No one-trick pony, the rough-hewn winger went on to tally 48 goals and 109 points for us in ’92-93.

KEVIN STEVENS (1988-95, 2001-02)

An absolute freight train on skates who combined speed and scoring touch with Herculean strength, Stevens was the premier power forward of his day. Over a four-season span at the outset of the ‘90s, “Big Artie” amassed a staggering 190 goals, including back-to-back seasons of 54 and 55 goals!

At his best when the stakes were highest, the strapping 6’3” 230-pounder famously guaranteed a victory in Game 3 of the ’91 Wales Conference Finals with the Pens trailing the Bruins, 2-games-to-none, then backed up his boast by scoring the game-opening goal and setting up the second one. He followed up with a two-goal, five-point explosion in the pivotal Game 5.

Alas, Stevens suffered gruesome head and facial injuries early in Game 7 of the ’93 Patrick Division Finals, a horrific incident that effectively derailed our dynasty-in-the-making. Although the beloved winger made a remarkable recovery to score 41 goals in ’93-94, he was never quite the same.

When you consider what passes for a power forward these days, it’s hard to believe a player like Stevens actually existed, let alone some 30-plus years ago.

BOB “BATTLESHIP” KELLY (1974-77)

Speaking of power forwards, one of my favorite players from the early years was Bob “Battleship” Kelly. Aptly nicknamed due to his long arms, huge fists and fearsome fighting prowess.

The lightweight Pens (sound familiar?) were getting mauled by the likes of the nasty Flyers and boisterous Blues when Kelly arrived from St. Louis along with equally rugged Steve Durbano in a blockbuster 1974 trade. Owner of two decisions over Flyers baddie Dave “The Hammer” Schultz, then regarded as the NHL’s heavyweight champ, Kelly made short work of the few foes who dared challenge him while laying down the law.

“You can play this interview in their locker room,” Kelly told a sportscaster prior to a game with the Flyers. “I’m not afraid of anyone.” According to Don Saleski, Philly quickly made it a policy not to rile Kelly.

The rangy left wing could score, too. Possessing a hard slap shot, the scorer/enforcer netted 52 goals over a two-season span while riding shotgun for young gun Pierre Larouche.

My favorite Battleship memory? Civic Arena organist Vince Lascheid piping out a lively rendition of “Anchors Aweigh” whenever Kelly stepped onto the ice. A warning to opposing goons.