Categories: PenguinPoop

Does Malkin Exist?

Over the weekend I started to ponder the actual existence of Evgeni Malkin.

In my mind he is the top scorer on the Pittsburgh Penguins. He is the top scorer in the NHL. He has been the top scorer in the NHL most of the season.

In Philadelphia they chanted “Crosby Sucks”. There is no way possible that the ever observant and genius hockey fans of Philadelphia could have missed the number one scorer in the NHL on the ice. A guy that in my mind finished second in scoring last year only 6 points away from the Art Ross Trophy.

So the Penguins took a train to Washington for a nationally televised game on NBC. Surely here I would find proof of his existence.

“Pittsburgh’s captain Sidney Crosby with 2 goals & 2 assists yesterday is second in the scoring race, he goes up against the goal scoring king last year & this, the Capitals Alexander Ovechkin” shouted Mike Emrick at the beginning of the telecast. OK, now I’m thinking its time to talk to a psychologist.

There is no way possible a person of Emrick’s ability could have possibly missed that the leading scorer in the NHL  was on the ice. I’m sure all of the people at NBC overlooked his opening notes and if Malkin existed would have said “hey, shouldn’t we mention the leading scorer?”

I’m off to check myself in to check myself out.

Exist – pronunciation: “ig-zist” – to have real being whether material or spiritual

Phil Krundle

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