Smurf City USA: Penguins Sign Hinostroza and Johnsson

I just happened to peek at NHL.com before signing off the computer at work. The headline “Hinostroza signs 1-year deal…” caught my attention. Then I noticed the “…with Penguins” part and burst out laughing.

Of course, another midget forward (Hinostroza, Vinnie goes 5’10” 183). I mean, is Mike Sullivan having a field day or what?! Somehow, he’s got Kyle Dubas eating out of the palm of his hand. Smurf City, here we come!

For good measure, Dubas also signed left wing Andreas Johnsson, an old friend from his tenure in Toronto and a comparative giant at 5’10” 194. At least by black-and-gold standards.

Oh, and both are signed to one-way contracts….Johnsson for $800 K and Hinostroza for $775 K…which puts us some $2.3 million over the cap limit.

Hmmmm. Let’s review. Four of the last five Cup winners…Washington, St. Louis, Tampa Bay and Vegas…ranked among the heaviest teams in the league. Colorado was among the top third in average weight.

So we’re getting smaller. Make that _smaller.

Uh…anybody have Ron Hextall’s phone number?

Kidding…sort of.

Okay, my obvious displeasure and sarcasm aside, I think Hinostroza is a nice little (there’s that word again) player. Good skater, hustles like crazy, battles for loose pucks. Good on the PK. On a team with some bigger bodies, it’s perfectly fine to sprinkle in small, speedy types like Vinnie.

Problem is…guys his size are fast becoming the norm rather than the exception on our lightweight Pens.

As for Johnsson, he scored 20 goals as a rookie for the Leafs back in 2018-19…and hasn’t come close to hitting that mark since, although he did manage 13 goals for New Jersey in ’21-22. He spent most of last season skating for the Devils’ AHL affiliate in Utica, where he produced nine goals in 36 games.

He’s reputed to be a good skater and a decent passer.

We do get younger with these signings (tongue in cheek). Hinostroza is 29, Johnsson 28.

Back to Smurf City. I guess if there’s a silver lining to Dubas giving Sullivan the type of team he craves, it’s that he’ll hang himself with it. Or hoist himself on his own petard, whichever you prefer. Which will once and for all bring an end to Sully hockey and finally open the door to a change in philosophy that’s long overdue.